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Team Fortress Classic Fighting FAQ

Copyright 2001-2003 by Lee Laughead

Go ahead and put this FAQ on your site, BBS, or UseNet group. Just don't
change a single character, and that includes typos. And don't try removing
all my bizarre, pointless comments scattered throughout this FAQ. If you do,
I just might remove your eyes from their sockets with a claw hammer. But not
really.


Updates

v2.5 10/29/03 Over two years since my last update. I've become a better
player since then, like you care. I'm fixing all this trash.
I changed a lot of my comments in order to make me appear more
assholish. I removed some garbage from the end of the file.
This will probably be the last update evar.

v2.0 07/23/01 Smeg, it's hot in here. Fixed some more typos. Added to,
edited and improved many section in the Fighting Guide.
Updated Fighting Guide intro and Misc sections. Altered
outdated info in some sections. Changed ambiguous wording here
and there. Made logo look nicer. If enough people e-mail me,
I'll make strategies for specific maps. (Note: I did this
update twice in one day, once before I went to sleep and once
after I got home from work. This is to show how much I love
you. If you loved me, you'd show it by sending me all your
money.

v1.41 04/19/01 Fixed one smegging typo.

v1.4 04/17/01 Added to credits and glossary sections. Give me money.

v1.3 03/18/01 Added to Civilian vs. Civilian fighting section, credits
section, and misc. section.

v1.2 03/06/01 Added ascii logo and new section.

v1.1 02/10/01 Added to glossary section.

v1.0 02/05/01 (I think) Just started.


1. Index

1. Index....don't tell me how to write
2. Glossary
3. Fighting Guide
4. Credits
5. Misc
6. Contacting the author


2. Glossary

I use a lot of slang and abbreviations in this FAQ. Most of them are
commonly used in TFC play and this FAQ, so I don't want anyone to be
confused.

AC - Assault Cannon. Used by HWGuys.

AIDS, Herpes - The disease enemy medics give you. Slowly drains your life
until you die or a friendly medic heals you.

Armor stripping/chipping - Most servers have it set so shooting your
teammates only removes health. This is so damn
irritating. Good servers set it so shooting your
teammates hurts you instead, making you have to
actually pay attention.

BS - "Bull excrement." Often used in conjunction with lag.

Camping - What retards whine about if you stay in one position for more than
fifteen seconds. Murder them.

Clan - A groups of players who get together to fight against other clans.
"Gang" is a better word for it. You can tell what clan someone's
in by the initials (Almost always three) at the beginning of their
name, which are usually in brackets or parentheses. (For example,
[POS]Bill ) And no, I don't want to join your clan. I turn down each
and every of both clan invitations I get. I'm a vagabond.

Conc - Concussion grenade. Knocks you back and forces you to look in a
figure-eight pattern for about 15 seconds, simulating dizziness, and
throwing off your aim. Used by scouts and medics.

CS - Counter-Strike. Another Half-Life mod, much more popular and and less
fun than TFC. Filled with perpetual newbs.

CTF - Capture The Flag. Maps where the object is to go into the enemy base,
get their flag and take it back to your base. Used in most TFC maps.

Defense - AKA Camping by idiots.

Demo - Short for demoman. Also: DM (Which I advise against using for fear of
people confusing it with deathmatch.)

Detpack - VERY powerful explosives that take 5 seconds to set and 5, 20 or
50 seconds to explode. Can't be thrown like other explosives. Used
by demomen.

DM - Deathmatch. Maps where the object is to kill rather than capture flags.
Looked on with disdain by most TFC players, with good reason.

Doc; Doctor - Medic.

Drunk; Stoned - When someone has been rendered dizzy by a concussion
grenade. Not used very often anymore.

EMP - Electric Magnetic Pulse. Does more damage to the target depending on
how many ammo or grenades they have. Used by engineers.

Eng; Engie; Engy - Short for engineer.

Fnord - FNORD! The fnords are coming! uNf!!!

FPS - First Person Shooter. What people invariably say they don't care for
when you mention TFC to them, because they are fags.

Frag - Kill.

Gren - Grenade. Can be used with any type of grenade, such as "nailgren" for
nail grenade.

HPB - "High ping bastard." Someone whose lag is so high that they're
practically worthless.

Hunted - Slang for the civilian on The Hunted maps. See "Prez".

Incendiary Cannon - The weapon no one can spell. Used by pyros.

Lag - Everyone's worst enemy. This is what it's called when things get slow
or even stop while playing online games. Blame this when you get 0wned.
See "Ping".

Llama - An insult said to people who have absolutely no talent or go out of
their way to make the game less fun for others (And no, I don't
know where they got "llama"). One of the weakest insults in history.
The fagstacks who use this probably think "Same to you" and "The
feeling is mutual" are cool insults and listen to prog-rock.

LPB - "Low ping bastard." What you'll most likely get called if you have low
ping and you kill someone with high ping. Make fun of them.

Macro; Script - A set of commands typed into the console that enable
numerous actions to be done with a single key. IMO, this is
pure cheating, since there's no margin of error and it's
impossible to detect. Use this only if you have no skill.

Med - Short for medic.

Medkit - Heals allies of their wounds, pumps them up to 150% their natural
health maximum (200% for civilians), cures afflictions and infects
enemies. Used by medics.

Newbie; n00b - You if you don't know what this means.

NS - "Nice shot." Also, Natural Selection, a mod I have never played.

0wn - To completely and utterly defeat a person or team. That's spelled "zero
double-you en".

Offense - AKA spamming by idiots.

Ping - How much lag you have. The lower the number, the better. See "Lag".

Prez - Short for "president". Slang for the civilian on The Hunted maps. See
"Hunted".

Puke Bomb - Slang for the spy's gas grenades, since they look a lot like
puke. They cause hallucinations and nonsensically remove health
and armor.

RCTF - Reverse Capture The Flag. Maps where the object is to take the flag
from your base into the enemy's.

RTFM - "Read the freaking manual." Often used in reply to people who ask
simple questions that can be easily answered by reading the Readme
file. Fools.

SG - Sentry Gun. Built by engineers.

Shotty - Shotgun.

Skill - What I have and you don't.

Skin - A player's color, or a spy's disguise. You can also use custom skins,
if you're an idiot who thinks it's funny to see jagged polygons vaguely
in the shape of Kermit the Frog.

Smeg - All-purpose swear word from the TV show "Red Dwarf". Used by me. And
yes, I know what it means.

Spamming - Either means talking so much that you annoy the other players,
or using far more grenades than necessary. The former is solved by
muting, and the latter is not a problem unless you have no skill

Spanner - An engineer's wrench. It's an actual word, but few people know what
it means. This means that all the nuts on the sentry gun and dispenser
are the same size. Hmm...

SS - Super Shotgun. Not used very often. See Shotty.

TF - A mod for the original Quake, much like TFC but with worse graphics (As it
is teh old) and different physics (As it has a different engine). Since
then, several first person shooters have TF mods for them.

TFC - Team Fortress Classic, a TF mod for Half-Life. The game this FAQ is
all about, fool.

TK - Team Killer. One who intentionally attacks team members. Despised by
all.

Trash Talk - Get good at this. This is the most fun aspect of TFC. Aside from,
you know, actually playing.

w00t - That's spelled "double-you zero zero tee". Used when someone
accomplishes something good or noteworthy, much like saying
"Awright" or "Huzzah!".


3. Fighting Guide

This section, the most homosexual one, will tell you how to fight every class
as every class. Note: These are SUGGESTIONS, fool. If you know of a tactic
that's better than mine, use that instead and e-mail me so I can fix it.

Civilian
Demoman
Engineer
Heavy Weapons Guy
Medic
Pyro
Scout
Sniper